recording 'Orange'

EXCLUSIVE!

Here you will not only be treated to pictures of NominateBill's first EVER recording session, way back in the summer of 1997, but also be able to read the previously unpublished script of NominateBill's proposed 'rockumentary'...

NOMINATEBILL: FROM WENTY TO WEMBLEY

'From Wenty to Wembley' - © Paul Robinson, Paul Lowe 1997

(screen is black, but band members can be heard)

JON: I think it should be a seventh higher.

RICK: Yeah, I think that would work.

JON: What do you reckon, Hughie; up a seventh?

HUGHIE: I dunno - what's a seventh?

JON: Try it, Paul.

(music begins: we see our heroes sat in the lounge of 85a, Frances Street, playing and singing a new song. Captions name all the band members in turn. Song goes smoothly and, as it finishes, the title caption comes up: NOMINATEBILL: FROM WENTY TO WEMBLEY)

PAUL (in 'interview'): The best band of the decade? I don't know. I think we're certainly the best band of the last couple of years. We're not too concerned about the last decade, anyway; we've only been around since '97. We're more interested in being the best band of the next century.

JON (in 'interview'): How influential are we? I think we're the Beethoven of today, except not deaf. And we do words, too, which Beethoven didn't. But, in terms of influence, I think we're on a par with the great composers. I think in 500 years' time there'll be some people whistling Beethoven's Fifth, and others humming 'C Block Days'.

RICK (in 'interview'): How big are we? I think you've just got to look outside in the street, read the papers or watch the news. Everybody loves us.

HUGHIE ('in interview'): I think it's easy to forget that, just 12 months ago, we were playing Wentworth Dining Hall. It was only half full, and everyone in the band was pissed off. I remember turning to Paul on stage and saying "Don't worry - we'll be the biggest band in the world someday'. Then, last week, on satge at Wembley, I turned to him and said: "See!"

(The band play a new version of 'Orange' (well) before individual interviews resume)

HUGHIE: Humble beginnings? You could say so. I remember that night 'round at 85a Frances street, when we wrote 'Orange', and recorded it on a shitty little tape recorder. Little did I know later it would go triple platinum. It certainly didn't sound like a triple platinum-selling song that night, but (laughs) you've gotta start somewhere…

(FLASHBACK: Band in Frances Street - Paul has guitar out and is sat on couch next to Hugh, holding pen and lyrics. Jon is in next chair. Inaudible mumblings are heard, and then Rick enters)

RICK: Alright, what you doing?

PAUL: We're writing a song.

RICK: What's it called?

JON: 'Orange' - it's about how Paul never leaves the house. We've likened the way Paul cannot go out to the way that the word 'orange' cannot be rhymed with anything. It's symbolic.

RICK: Sym-bollocks, more like. Who says 'orange' doesn't rhyme with anything?

HUGHIE: Richard Whitley off of 'Countdown'. He's always saying it. It's the only word in English that has no rhyme.

RICK: What about 'antisdisistablishmentarianism'? That doesn't rhyme with anything…

HUGHIE: Not a very catchy song title, though, is it?

RICK: What about 'cringe'? That rhymes with 'o-ringe'.

HUGHIE: No... well… er… I suppose… oh, fuck off. I've written the song now.

RICK: Play it, then.

(band play song badly with occasional suggestions that one lyric or another should be changed)

PAUL ('interview'): So anyway, we practised a bit more, got pretty good… we were ready…

RICK: But we didn't have a manager…

JON: That's when we met Bobby Stardust.

(we now meet Bobby Stardust - cigar-smoking cockney manager of NominateBill)

BOBBY: The first time I saw NominateBill, they were playing at Wentworth to the Dungeons and Dragons society. I knew straight aay, when they played the acoustic version of the 'Quincy' theme tune, that they were going to be big. I mean, if you can get away with playing theme tunes to 1970's coronor-cum-detective shows to a group of warlocks and Vikings, then you can take over the world. But what really sold me was 'Fish and Chips'. If you think that that 'How Bizarre' song was catch, then 'Chips' just takes the mick… I mean (sings) 'Fish and chips, fish and chips, fish and chips, chips and fish' - fantastic! Absolutely pukka.

Almost everyone says they loved them that night. There was an evil dwarf who said they were shite, but I didn't really take much notice… him being an evil dwarf and that. I don't know if the audience that night realised that they were witnessing the start of one of the most remarkable rock careers of all time - the minotor who threw up on the warrior monk probably doesn't remember - but I'm sure that everyone else that night does. There was an atmosphere.. it was electric. The hairs on my back are standing u p just thinking about it.

Staright after the set I got them all to sign a legally-binding contract, tying them to Stardust Management for fifteen years. That's how much I love these guys…

The rest of this rockumentary was never finished…